I have never, ever been a good runner. It’s just not really in my “nature”. I’m big boned and awkward and have been overweight since the moment I was born.

No, really.. I was a 10+ lb baby. I have ALWAYS been big.

P.E. was never really fun for me while growing up. Especially in junior high when we had to run outside in Wyoming in winter. I remember a specific day where I truly felt like my lungs were being ripped apart inside me. I think I had to jog for a minute that day ๐Ÿ™

The funny thing is, I played team basketball from 5th grade till my senior year. I was decent, but always a bench player. I had no endurance. I was not a runner.

I think that is the reason I am sticking with it right now. I AM NOT A RUNNER. This is not easy for me. Every run is a test of willpower. Every completed run is a major victory. It’s doing something I never imagined I could do.

Every time I add another mile to my long run, I am reminded of how far I’ve come. These “milestones” have become major memories for me to build on. The first three stick out the most:

First Mile – I was at high school basketball practice. We were outside on the track after school. For whatever reason, I pushed myself harder that day and completed four laps for the first time without walking. I was so proud I went and told my coach about it after practice. I don’t think she was very impressed.

First 2 Miles – I had started running with my college roommate as she was getting ready to do her military physical. She had to run 2 miles in a certain amount of time, so I went with her 2 or 3 times a week to the track. After working and working, I finally made the 8 laps without taking a walk break. I was in pretty good shape. Then she took her test and I became a vegetable again ๐Ÿ™

First 3 Miles – Years and years later, after I had my second child, I had had enough of carrying around “baby weight”. I started the Couch to 5k program with Nike+ setup. 9 weeks later I was done with the program and completed two laps around the neighborhood, making 3 miles. It was nighttime and I remember walking into the house covered with sweat but feeling like I had just conquered the world. 3 MILES!

Like I said, those first 3 were the most memorable. After that… ย it’s just bigger pats on the back. Miles 4, 5, 6, 7 have been completed since October of this year, and 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and finally 13 will be complete by the end of February if all goes well. I believe I can do it. To me, if I can do one mile, I can do 13. Sure, it hurts more, but it is possible. A half marathon is no longer an unattainable goal for me. It is the next step in this journey.

This weeks runs have had mixed results. Tuesday I rocked 4.5 miles on the treadmill, but Thursday I tried to do the distance again outside and I only made it for 2. I had to force myself to squeeze out that 2, too. I wanted to turn around 3 minutes into the run. The wind was blowing hard, my toe hurt, I had to pee (I didn’t realize I had to until after I got going), and I just wasn’t feeling it because I AM NOT A RUNNER! ย I was going to make it up today when I got home from work, but it has been storming all day and now it’s nasty cold outside. So here I am. Blogging. I’m going to do a cross training workout tomorrow and then my long run Sunday. At this point, I really don’t know how it’ll all turn out. We’ll just have to see… the suspense is killer ๐Ÿ™‚

I’ve been trying to lose a few pounds during all this training as well, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. Running more just makes you eat more. I have noticed my legs tightening up and my face looking thinner, but I’m gonna have to tell you… I have to squeeeeeeeze into my jeans. *MUST WORK ON THIS* ย It really has everything to do with me surviving on carbs most days of the week. Like I said… bread… ๐Ÿ˜‰ ย I have 4 weeks left of training, so I’m going to push to see if I can lose at least 5 lbs more before the big race day. I’ve lost about 4 since Christmas. Nothing exciting about that, though. It’s the same four I’ve gained/lost for the last year and a half. My body is certainly comfortable where it is right now. I’m not. It’s a work in progress.

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2 Responses to I AM NOT A RUNNER

  1. bgirl875 says:

    Love the post.

    I feel you on not being a runner to start with. I had the same struggle and have told myself for years, I wasn’t made to run. However, I am running. I’m at about 2 miles without stopping…but this is one of those goals that I plan to achieve. Definitely a test of wills.

    Good luck and looking forward to reading more!


    • blessmyheart says:

      Thanks for the comment. It’s always nice to hear new people’s input and know you are not alone. I really wish I could get to the point where this becomes completely easy, but I’m not sure it will. Maybe it really shouldn’t be easy… then I wouldn’t do it because it’s not doing me any good ๐Ÿ™‚ I read a little of your blog – great stuff – I look forward to reading more.

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