The Hill

There’s a hill on my road that I despise. Well, despise might be a little strong, but I don’t like it very much at all. It makes me uncomfortable. It’s steep on both sides, creating a blind spot on the road until you get to the top. This causes a few problems:

  1. Hills are tough.
  2. I can’t see what’s coming from the other side.

The highest point is about a half a mile from my house, and there is yet a way I have managed to find so that I don’t have to be in a “run” section of my run/walk program when I get to it. Warm up walk for 5 minutes? It it square at the beginning of the first run. Run straight from the house? Find myself grinding out little baby steps and panting as hit the top of Mount Sufferage during the last 30 seconds…20 seconds…only 10 more seconds till I can walk again!

It’s always there, waiting for me to realize it’s always going to be there.

It really wouldn’t be as bad, but for the blind spot. Since I can’t see what’s coming, I’m always a little more preoccupied at the hill than I would like to be. I’m worried about if someone is going to crest and run me over because they are hugging the ditch a little too hard. I’m worried if I should go to the right side so I don’t have to worry about what’s over the other side. Now I’m worried about what’s coming up behind me now that I’m not on the proper side for running.

It just makes me worried.

Quite honestly, I have talked myself out of going down the road to exercise many, many times because of this hill.

I’m too tired. I don’t want to bother with the traffic. That dog is probably out and about at the top, too. It’s just not worth it. 

Those thoughts almost won over me again this evening. The sun was going down and my running intervals were longer and I just didn’t want to get out and run up that hill. And it was juuuust about the time the entire community would be passing me in all my glory (running tights) as they came home from work. Nope. No thank you.

But I went anyway. You don’t have to want to do something to do it. I knew I needed to.

And as I was running up that hill this evening, 4 times, I thought about why I am trying so very hard right now to change my habits. I have tried over and over and over again these last few years and nothing has stuck. I feel the stickiness all over me this time. Why now?

Because I have another hill to climb.

240 days till I hike four days of the Inca Trail into my “Over the Hill” birthday.

  1. These hills are tough.
  2. I can’t see what’s coming from the other side.

I’ve spent a lot of time over these past few years being in a lot of physical pain. I can feel the other side of “the hill” creeping into my bones. My muscles don’t work the way they should and inflammation in my joints is becoming a standard. Being uncomfortable in my own skin is not a feeling I want to take to the other side of this hill, and laying on the couch is not going to teach my body that it needs to be strong again.

I must climb the hill.

I must climb it over and over and over again. There is no end. And there is no view from the other side as I climb. I’m blind to what’s coming.

I just trust that it’s better than what I see right now.

 

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One Response to The Hill

  1. Lisa says:

    Well said Juli. Well said.

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